


Denial May Be a Fricking Ocean...

by lone_lilly



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-15
Updated: 2006-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-11 17:05:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lone_lilly/pseuds/lone_lilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...but Addison just navigated the waves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial May Be a Fricking Ocean...

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

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[ga: addison](http://la-scapigliata.dreamwidth.org/tag/ga:+addison), [ga: meredith](http://la-scapigliata.dreamwidth.org/tag/ga:+meredith), [grey's anatomy](http://la-scapigliata.dreamwidth.org/tag/grey%27s+anatomy)  
  
  
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Denial May Be a Fricking Ocean...

**Title:** Denial May Be a Fricking Ocean...  
**Fandom:** _Grey's Anatomy_  
**Characters:** Meredith Grey and Addison Montgomery-Shepherd (not slash)  
**Word Count:** 549  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** Sometime after "17 Seconds" although not really spoilery after all  
**Summary:** ...but Addison just navigated the waves.

"He never would have left you, you know," she says from two spaces down the bar. If her tone is accusatory, you choose to ignore it.

"I know," you nod and offer her a weak smile.

"He would have stayed forever," she presses on. You aren't sure why this is so important to her and you fight the urge to buy her a drink. She didn't have nearly so much to say to you when she was drowning her sorrows in alcohol. You miss that.

"I know that, Meredith." Her name always sounds so stilted on your tongue and it makes you cringe.

"Then why did you leave?" she asks quietly. And there it is, the million dollar question. You fiddle with a peanut from the bowl in front of you, twisting it in your fingers as you loosen the shell from the meat inside.

"He would have stayed with you forever," she repeats insistently and you wonder if maybe she has been drinking after all. "Trying to be the perfect husband to you. He would have stayed."

You drop the peanut onto the bar and fix her with as cold a stare as you can muster, considering how empty you really feel. "No. He would have stayed with me forever trying to be the perfect husband to _you_."

It shuts her up effectively and she stares back at you with a weariness that makes you feel guiltier than any look Derek's thrown your way. You still find it hard to hate her for what the two of you have made her into.

"What happened with Mark-- and you-- didn't break up my marriage, it was over long before then. We were busy and determined and successful and we forgot to take care of each other." You pause to make sure she's listening. She is, her brow furrowed in confusion and still a little guilt of her own, and so you continue, grimacing at the sound of your own voice.

"He wouldn't be that kind of husband to you. He needed to prove that to you and to himself, so he stayed with me."

You offer her another smile that feels entirely wrong on your face and shrug. "That sort of weird, chivalrous logic is one of the reasons I fell in love with him."

"Addison," she nods with all the sadness of a woman who knows what it's like to be the one Derek Shepherd leaves behind. "But we're not. . . I mean, I'm with Finn now."

"I know," you agree and wonder how long that will really last once Derek decides to pursue her again. His maddening persistence was another thing that attracted you to him. Her too, you bet.

You drop a handful of money on the bar's surface and gather your coat.

"You deserve to be happy," you tell her and you hope that she has the guts to figure out what that means. You hope you do, too.

"We all do," she murmurs and the two of you share a moment of forgiveness before you make your way to the door. Outside, the air is crisp and damp and you inhale it greedily. Your time in Seattle is drawing to a close and you feel a sense of relief that runs marrow deep.

Pretending is more painful than it looks.

  



End file.
